The Reflection Pool

So far, so good. Not much has happened so far on this sojourn of mine. I haven’t reached the remote part of my drive yet though. I am looking forward to it. I wasn’t looking forward to spending this much time by myself Friday night and Saturday morning. In fact, I think I was having these mini-panic attacks. I couldn’t breathe. I even cried here and there. I suddenly did not want to do all that driving alone.

Now that I am doing it, it is going well. I haven’t gone crazy. At least no more than usual. The most exciting thing is that I hit a skunk. Wahoo. No smell though. I was driving too fast. Other than that, I have enjoyed Montana. I have some pics but I don’t know what they look like. I will post them when I get to Mollie’s, which is days away yet. I am excited that I got to get online here for a few minutes any way.

I am going to hit Glacier National Park in an hour or two. I am looking forward to that except that it is raining and I might not get out to see anything. I have no clue. I am just excited to be moving along. Maybe I will save Glacier for another trip. Maybe Mols and I will hit it on our way down. Don’t really know yet. I just know that I am anxious to get up to AK!

Today’s forecast: Rain mixed with peace and calm. Ah, the hum of the tires on the asphalt.

Alaska!

I am looking forward to my drive up there but at moments I get nervous about spending that much time with myself. Kinda goofy thing to say but that is what I am thinking. I do feel better now that I have a map and good details on the road and where I will find gas. I am also feeling ready with all of my stuff being packed and my gear is ready. I guess that means that I am ready.

I have no idea what to expect and that is a little bit scary. That is the excitement of it though, the adventure. I know that things will go smoothly but there is always that possibility…. I will have to be careful that I don’t over do the driving. I have a tendency to do that. I can take my time and find it all enjoyable but I am completely jazzed to see Mols so going slow, going steady will be tricky for me.

I know Mom! I will be careful.

Since my uncle died in mid-March, I have been trying to capture the memories tied up in the loss of a man I hardly knew as an adult but loved more than anything as a child. Beyond that, my attempts have been wrapped around the call of a morning dove. I have yet to meet success with this endeavor. It isn’t the loss so much of the man but that I am now the sole holder of the memory, the memory of the experience.

Fact of life: people die.

Fact of life: memories fade.

Aside from a connection as a child. there was not much else to the relationship but the memories. His smell hangs in my nose, a combination of his cologne and beer. He sat in a lawn chair wearing a white tee-shirt and black slacks. I sat on the arm, dirty from the day’s play, knees scrapped up, elbows bruised. I studied the rising and falling of the doves coo. I perfected it. It became our way of speaking. He’d call, I’d answer. The rise and fall of the coo. He had a family of boys. I was his girl. I just can’t seem to get these thoughts into something more than that.

I think it takes me too long to feel…..