Forgiveness
August 14, 2011 § 3 Comments
This has been on my mind of late. I’ve been trying to understand the nature of forgiveness and the necessity of it. Why do we crave it? Why do we need it? If it doesn’t come in the form we think it should, does that mean it isn’t there? Why is it so important to be given forgiveness from those who we feel should give it? And if it comes, would we really accept it?
So many questions and
each of my answers lead to one place, the forgiveness of ourselves. If I am seeking this forgiveness, maybe I should look to myself and find the forgiveness in me that I am so busy seeking from others. That is not so easy. Some times, it feels down right impossible.
Can you forgive me? is a loaded question. For what? Why? Can you forgive yourself? It is all something to search for because I don’t think that withholding forgiveness is what anyone truly wants to do. And yet, it seems that as humans that is what we do. We withhold and that only poisons all parties involved.
Can I forgive you? Yes. For what? I don’t know. Maybe for the way life was left hanging. Maybe for the things that have been destroyed. Maybe for the things that are still unknown. Maybe for the fear that is now hanging over everything. Maybe for the emptiness and the lack of anything of substance. Maybe for this unwillingness to let it go. Maybe for having to go beyond any strength humanly possible. Maybe for wishing and hoping for something to be rebirthed.
Maybe for nothing.
It is so hard to say and even harder to understand. One of those unconditional love things, right?
Forgiveness.
I have been reworking some of the poems that I have written over the past years and found one that related so succinctly to this topic of forgiveness. I understand seeking out forgiveness:
Needs
Forgiveness ran dry when I asked for it.
I suppose that I don’t deserve it after all
that I have put you through
but the immediate lack is a cruel
and unusual punishment even for you.
Feigning function, you take out the trash
and turn all the lights in the house on
but we never really get back to the point
that I brought up about forgiveness.
You and I, we act as polar opposites.
A contentious you disregards me as
picking a fight. I don’t need to pick a
fight. I need forgiveness.
The Reflection Pool 
Yes, certainly. Forgiveness is essential for the good health of relationships – to bring reconciliation or the possibility of it. How about the man, whose two sons were killed by a runaway driver recently during the riots! He showed dignity and a total lack of revenge for what had happened.
Check out these extracts from my collection –
Very nice poem today. I really enjoyed reading it. Please read and share this poem called “The Inspiration” also.
Thanks again for writing this.
I read somewhere that “forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past can be different.” I’ve been working on forgiveness a lot the last year and a half, both forgiving others and asking for forgiveness. It’s tricky. We feel like we give up our right to be angry and blaming when we consider forgiving. And when we ask forgiveness, we need others to acknowledge our regret and desire for reconciliation or at least an annulment of the grief we caused. Both are important. Both are necessary to living life fully and with hope for a different future.